Ravens fire Billick

Even though they said they weren't going to, the Ravens fired Head Coach Brian Billick.

Oh well.

Jose Canseco is "Vindicated"

Seriously folks, who would've thought after all the backlash and shit that Jose Canseco's first book Juiced that'd he'd write another one. This one will apparently focus on A-Rod's alleged (performance enhancing) drug use, and Mark McGwire's deal for immunity before he took the stand against Congress. Sadly, I'll read this.

No Country For Old Men

Before I even say anything about this movie, let me just say that I read the book No Country For Old Men by Cormac McCarthy before I even decided to watch the flick. Therefore, I had to watch it with a somewhat unopened mind. However,

I dug the fucking flick.

It was a Coen Brothers' flick. What's not to like? Javier Bardem was fantastic, Tommy Lee Jones was Tommy Lee Jones, and Josh Brolin was surprisingly great.

It wasn't the same exact thing as the book was, that's fine, but there wasn't a bad thing about the movie.

Therefore, it's my number two of the JD's Top Five Flicks of the Year.

The List:

1. Gone Baby Gone
2. No Country For Old Men
3. The Kingdom
4. To Be Determined
5. To Be Determined

Leyritz charged with DUI/Manslaughter.

Jim Leyritz former New York Yankee (and World Series Champ) has been charged with a DUI...and manslaughter to boot. He was involved in an accident while drunk that killed a 30-year old woman. Not...good. The woman's name was Fredia Ann Veitch, and she was a mother of two. Jesus fuck.


Here's the article from ESPN.com.

Misha Barton arrested for DUI and weed smokin'

Well well well. Yet another female badass who gets into trouble with the law, and yet another fucking mug shot. Once again, I will use the word I seldom use, and call her a cunt. Mainly because she fucking is.

Viral marketing for Cloverfield?

Uh...

Okay. I understand the usage of viral marketing. Cartoon Network did it for their big show Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theatres (!) with their mooninites all over Boston. But I don't understand this one. I do not understand why they're doing this marketing in San Fransisco and not New York City where the trailer for the movie takes place.

Stupppppidity.

Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros

Awesome song everyone should listen to is "Minstrel Boy" it's long, but it's so fucking good, it makes your ears want to weep.

Pads ink Prior

In something clearly unorthodox the San Diego Padres have signed oft-injured pitcher Mark Prior to a one-year deal worth $1 million dollars. Even though, he hasn't pitched well since 2003 when he went 18-6 with a 2.43 ERA. I understand that rehabbing pitchers come cheap, but they also come to be a burden (look at Mike Hampton). And Jesus, Mark Prior has been awful the last couple of years, and didn't even throw a pitch in 2007. Take a look:

2006 : 1-6 record, 7.21 ERA
2005 : 11-7 record, 3.67 ERA
2004 : 6-4 record, 4.02 ERA
2007 : Did not play.

That's 57 starts in 4-years from 2004-2007 he should've made over a 120 starts easy, but he's injured constantly. And he says he's got good years left. Bullshit.

Jack's Mannequin's new album ...

Another album that I am eagerly awaiting (Jimmy Eat World was the first) is The Glass Passenger which just by the sound of it...(there's a video of in studio stuff) it's going to be awesome.

%20target=">Check out the video.

Things that are awesome...

Shirt.Woot.Com's December 26th's Shirt o' The Day.

Gone Baby Gone.

As I sit here listening to "Morning Glory" by Oasis and thinking about everything (and I really mean everything) I am reminded of the movie I just watched. Gone Baby Gone which starred Casey Affleck, Michelle Monaghan, Ed Harris, and Morgan Freeman. I'm going to do something I don't do too often.

Gone Baby Gone is my number one movie of the year.

That's right folks, Gone Baby Gone, is such a fantastic fucking flick. I loved the flick so much that I deemed it my number one flick. Casey Affleck, I think, has beaten John Cusack out for my best actor (not really, though the younger Affleck fucking shines in this flick). Ben Affleck, I never lost faith in you, not for a second. I don't give a fuck if you engaged yourself to Jennifer Lopez, I knew you had this shit in you. Seriously, I have never once hated a Ben Affleck flick. I even liked Gigli (it's not really that bad). Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are heckled because they're well-received. Both Bostonites, and both great actors. Ben Affleck might have found a new calling though, with this shit, because it was fantastic.

Not to mention that Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman were both fantastic. And even Taggart from Beverly Hills Cop II. You didn't think I'd include him, did you? And Michelle Monaghan is fucking gorgeous. Ben Affleck has done right by me, man. He's never once failed me in any aspect. Surviving Christmas is a little sketchy, but...a guy needs a paycheck right? This year, the Ben Affleck/Matt Damon combo came through a winner.

The Bourne Ultimatum and Gone Baby Gone. Gone Baby Gone is definitely number one on my list, and who knows where the Ultimatum will land.

Colbert and Stewart return January 7th!

Yes. Fucking FINALLY...The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report return on January 7th with new episodes, presumably without writers:

IMDB broke the news; For me at least:

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, each of whom is a member of the Writers Guild of America, have agreed to return to the air on January 7th -- presumably winging their material without their staff of writers. In a statement that was presumably written down by someone, the two remarked that they would have preferred to return with their writers. "If we cannot, we would like to express our ambivalence, but without our writers we are unable to express something as nuanced as ambivalence." Their announcement leaves David Letterman and Craig Ferguson as the only late-night hosts without an official return date. Letterman's production company, Worldwide Pants, which produces The Late Show and The Late, Late Show on CBS has been attempting to work out a separate deal with the WGA, which many had expected would be announced this week. Meanwhile, in an interview with the Kansas City Star, Ferguson suggested that he doesn't know anything about the negotiations, saying only, "The day Dave goes back is the day I go back." And if the show goes back without writers? "I'll have to speak without thinking, which actually, I have two failed marriages, so I think everybody knows I can do."

Stephen Colbert named AP Celebrity of the Year

Stephen Colbert (pronounced Coal-bear) has won the AP Celebrity of the Year award. I don't know what he wins, maybe a lifetime of annoyance from moronic politicians or smoething?

Carlos Silva inks 4 year deal with M's

The Mariners have signed free agent Carlos Silva to a 4-year $48 million dollar deal. Silva hasn't had a winning season..since 2005 when he went 9-8 with an ERA of 3.44. 9-8 when starting 27 fucking games.

$48 mill for a guy with a lifetime 55-46 record.

Fuck the heck.

"Boss" eats World Series history.

Chomp, Chomp.

That's the sound of Boss' jaw as he chews on World Series history...Boss, if you didn't know, is Jonathan Papelbon's dog, and he's eaten (or is in the process of eating) the 2007 World Series Baseball.

Oh well.

You know, I am particularly disturbed that Papelbon has a dog named Boss.

It'll be a blue...blue..blue..blue Christmas.

The guy previously was a black guy turning white. This guy is a white guy turning ...BLUE...The disease is alled collodial silver apparently and this guy is turning into a blueberry. Where's Willy Wonka when you need him?

Other titles for this post might have included:

"YOU MY BOY, BLUE!"
or
"Blue Man Groups Newest Addition"

This is too good for words...clearly. . .

I could've wrote something terribly wrong about this, but I just can't do it. It's too easy, it's like a Banky Edwards joke waiting to happen. Jesus. A Black guy turning white. Go figure.

Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.

For those of you that didn't know, I just didn't care. This happened a few days ago, and she's 16-years old. Her boyfriend is 18.

For those people who are like "HOLY SHIT! Fuck the heck!?" I will tell you that I live in bumfuck Pennsylvania and there's more 16-year old parents then there are 20-year old parents. The people here fuck like rabbits.

To Spears though, I have to say what a dumb fucking whore she is. 16-years old, her career ahead of her, and she's having a baby. Fucking stuuuupid...

Fuck the Heck...

Schilling to Rocket: "Give back your shit, dick."

Curt Schilling is saying that either Clemens comes clean or he gives back his Cy Young Awards. All four of them. Schilling says that it's disappointing that Rocket used steroids considering the two have history. Schilling got pretty much yelled at, by Clemens when Schilling was coming up in Boston's farm system.

He wrote this in his blog on 38pitches.com

Leatherheads and Valkyrie trailers

This Leatherheads flick sounded good months ago, and now it looks even better. John Krasinski, George Clooney, and Renée Zellweger star in the flick about two football players trying to rejuvenate the beginning of football. Wearing those leather helmets and what not. It looks pretty hilarious.

And then there's Valkyrie which stars Tom Cruise, Eddie Izzard, and Tom Wilkinson just to name a few. Cruise plays a soldier named Claus von Stauffenberg who plans, with others, to assassinate Adolf Hitler. It looks good.

...Bill Parcells doesn't go to ATL...

Fuck the heck all over again.

Bill Parcells is annoying the fuck out of me today. Why would anyone even contemplate taking a job working for the Falcons, I wondered aloud today, and then he doesn't take the job. He takes a job, however, with the fucking1-13 Miami Dolphins.

Fuuuuck the heck.

USA Network axes hit shows.

The USA Network, for whatever reason, has axed The Dead Zone and The 4400. I'm pretty shocked to hear it, these shows were two big hits that they had...and it's kind of weird. I watched both the shows too, and it's kind of shitty that they decided to can them. On a related note since Choirs and Phenomenon both sucked for NBC - they're going to be airing repeats of Psych and Monk.

Fuck the heck.

Parcells to become Falcons VP

In a move that I obviously don't understand the Falcons are on the verge of hiring (or have hired) Bill Parcells to be their Vice President of Football Operations.

Okayyyyy...

Whateeevvvvver.

Roberts admits one-time steroid use...

I like Brian Roberts. I'm going to say that right now, I am disappointed that the cat used steroids, but I still like the guy. I think one-time usage of steroids will have no affect on the user. I won't look at him any differently, mainly because there are bigger fish to fry. Why focus on a guy like Brian Roberts when Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens are out there to get your grips into and ride into the steroid-millenia.

I don't know, I just believe that Brian Roberts is a good guy. That might be a little naive, but I don't care. I've always been a fan of the guy since his rookie season, so maybe I'm just biased.

Jets ready to ride the McFadden train?

Giving up on Thomas Jones and Leon Washington? Me too!

According to the NYDailyNews.com, the New York Jets are interested in drafting Darren McFadden of the Arkansas Razorbacks. McFadden has 1,725 yards 15 TDs as a Running back. He's infamous for having that game against Tennessee where he rushed for 321 yards in one game. Adrian Peterson much?

Anyway, if the Dolphins do what they're expected to do and draft Glenn Dorsey a DT from the LSU Tigers, the Jets will draft McFadden. This all rides on Ronnie Browns rehab and recovery.

College Football players cheat?

DUH!

Listen. I have a friend (or at least my brother does) who went to the University of Miami (not Ohio) and he went there while Jonathan Vilma went there (New York Jets Middle Line Backer) and apparently the teachers would give him whatever grades. It didn't matter. As Lance would say "Ith Donth Mahtar" and through all that garbity gook it really doesn't. Think about it.

They're going to college for one thing: Football. Should they be getting an education? Yessir they should. I don't think they should get a diploma for doing nothing, but they giving their respective school a star linebacker in exchange for some A's. Oh well. When you bring into account that 25-players cheated 11 of whom are starters, then it's a little extreme. Florida State University is looking at having 25-players suspended for the Music City Bowl - first of all...how about a new name? No wonder they cheated...who wants to play in something called the Music City Bowl? Not I. They should change it to the "Awesometastic JD Invitational" just an opinion. But yes, the FSU Seminoles are going to probably have somewhere in the vicinity of 25-players suspended from the MCB against ..unranked (I guess) Kentucky.

No more landlines...

Interesting post script...I almost wrote Landmines and I would've gotten like a gazillion comments about the War in Iraq being over. Well folks, it's not 2028, so the War in Iraq is still going strong. Yay! For America II (what we'll be called in 2028, when Russia deems themselves the new America I).

Anywho, the purpose of this article is give you another article that I came across on USA Today or what have you. It's about people's landlines (phones) going caput, and them only have cell phones. And the rise of the cell phone bill, and it surpassing the price of a landline.

Now, what I don't get is the point. We all know that cell phone bills are astronomical at times. And Landlines really aren't. I'd like to see a Landline that hits $18,000 dollars. People go batshitcrazy with cell pieces, but with a landline (for some reason) they use it in moderation.

Model gets a new ear...from her ribs.

Exactly.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta calls it a nubbin. To hilarious for words.
This guy is the worst "Doctor" ever. Seriously. Watch that video and tell me that he's not a stupid ass.

The Savages.

There's this flick coming out called The Savages which stars Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney. It's supposed to be very good, and nicely made. Here's an article from the NY Times

A breather...

The News isn't as spiraling as it has been - the holidays are coming, the holidays are coming. Is about it. Honestly, I don't have much to write about, so I'll talk about the Patriots/Dolphins game.

Fact of the matter is that the Miami Dolphins are not a bad football team. They're like the 2007 New York Knickerbockers, they just aren't playing well as a team. They lost 13 games in a row, but finally beat the Baltimore Ravens in OT to win their first game of the season (1-13, guh). They go from the Baltimore Ravens to the New England Patriots...a team who is undefeated. Yes, they're undefeated, and no, it's not 1972. And they're not the Dolphins. I am really hoping, really praying, really crossing my fingers, that the Dolphins can beat the Patriots. I think it would be such an awesome ending to an otherwise uneventful season. Sure, the Pats are 14-0. They also are all cheaters, steroid users, and Tom Brady is the most handsomest man alive. It's a recipe like that, that when mixed in a large blue mixing bowl creates a Transformer unlike any you've ever scene. A Tombradytron. It's true. The guy has 45 TDs, and 7 INTs. He needs 5 TDs to tie the record and 6 TDs to break it. Randy Moss has 19 TDs. NINETEEN! He's 11 feet tall (and apparently still) growing! How, really, can you honestly compete with this?

Hancock teaser trailer.

This movie looks fucking cool. I don't know why, but anyone who is a superhero, who doesn't necessarily want to be a superhero, is lazy, crazy and ...Will Smith? Hancock delivers all these things into an action packed big-budgeted flick.


UPDATE: The Trailer has since been taken down.

The Dark Knight trailer...official

Yes, finally the site has come up and the official The Dark Knight trailer has hit

The Dark Knight International ...Joker Poster!

Holy Effing Crap...shit just gets better and better.

It's The Joker.

And There's this one too...which is....even better!

The Doctor is out.

Doctor Who, which is a fantastic series that the BBC created nearly 31 years ago, and has stretched on for 31 seasons (with different leads of course) is going to be losing another Doctor. David Tennant is apparently leaving the series. Which sucks, because he's the Doctor I've started watching.

I do enjoy the show quite a bit, it's low-budget sci-fi, with a bunch of humor and fantastic acting. I'm surprised it hasn't been USA Emulated yet, and when/if that happens, I will be very, very annoyed.

Pettitte admits to taking HGH twice...

Andy Pettitte, who has pitched for The Astros and the New York Yankees has admitted that he took HGH to heal; twice. He got them from a trainer he apparently shared with Roger Clemens. Therefore Clemens' denial is pretty much bullshit.

You can check out the article I read here, but the story is running everywhere.

Card's send Edmonds to the Padres

Former All-Star and Oft' Hurt Cardinals Center Field is going to have a warm change of scenery...San Diego. That's right, the Pads have agreed to send Minor Leaguer David Freese to the Cards in return for Edmonds.

Jesus Christ...I know Edmonds is on his last legs...but still? This is ridiculous.

It also comes a day after the Mitchell Report (repour) and Albert Pujols being irate that NBC fucked the heck on their report (report) of the list.

A's send Haren to D'Backs for Minor Leaguers

Fuck.

Brandon Webb and Dan Haren. Fuck. Seriously, I wanted Haren to go to the Braves, but with their payroll of ..nothing, I knew it'd never happen. Haren to maybe an NL team? Fuck. I think that Haren/Webb is a ridiculous one-two punch; Unless of course, Haren falls the way of Barry Zito and his NL resume thus far.

Katie Holmes might kill religion, but she's still hot.

Check out this...photo shoot of Katie Holmes, I'm in awe, this chick after having a baby, and dealing with Tommy Cruise, is still smoking hot. I don't understand it. She should be the color green by now, with little antlers sticking out of her head or something.

The Dark Knight Returns...in the form of...

The coolest fucking poster ever...

The Journey is over...

Journeyman has seen the end. NBC has let their chance to renew the show lapse and it'll go into the depths of the forgotten very quickly I'm sure. I loved the show, personally. I enjoyed the premise a great deal...here now, gone in a second. However, the show never got ratings, similar to Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip which was a faaaaaaantastic show that got cancelled for lack of ratings.

At this point, I don't bleieve anything can beat CSI: Miami.

THE DARK KNIGHT TRAAAAAAAAILER!

Holy Shit, Holy shit, Holy Shit, Holy shit...

Hooooooooooooooooole-e shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Five minutes of...

The most anticipated flick of next year (probably) Cloverfield...

Holy Fuck.

Drunken Firemen could mean death...by fire.

Yes. I know. Stupid, but the fact of the matter is Drunken Firefighting is ruining our good country. Look at Denis Leary! Reeeeegardless, this is why I don't trust firefighters.

Oh yeah, I got this on Drew Curtis' FARK...which is ultimately one of the most hilarious reads on intraweb.

The Mitchell List Part 3: The Fallout

Not only are people saying that the Mitchell Report (pronounced Re-pour) is basically hearsay, and that the list is a lie. Whatever. Baseball players used steroids. Roger Clemens got his ass shot up ...literally, with 'roids, or HGH, or something to help him heal. Who knows what the real deal is here? Clemens is no longer playing baseball, so it doesn't matter. Guys like Glaus, Nook Logan, and Andy Pettite are playing, so what's the fallout going to be?

Troy Glaus: The fallout is simple, he's going to get hurt again. It's not a huge shock that Troy Glaus took steroids. He was hurt...a million and two times, so, it's pretty much obvious.

Nook Logan: When I saw this, I was in shock. Nook Logan is a shitty, shitty baseball player. He's awful. I mean, the Nationals need a guy like Logan who's fairly fast, and can play a decent CF, but at what cost to their reputation?

Andy Pettitte: Who the hell knows? I mean, Andy Pettitte hasn't pitched well since 2005 when he had an ERA of 2.39. I skimmed through the Mitchell Report I didn't read it word for word, so I don't know when Pettitte took steroids, or healed himself or anything like that. I know that there's not going to be any immediate problems, but the fans are going to be...relentless.

Jessica Alba: With Child.

That's right folks, Jessica Alba, is pregnant with her boyfriend's (Cash Warren) baby. Sucks to be the male population right now.

The Mitchell Report 2: The List...or most of it.

Alright, so I just read...(skimmed through) the Mitchell Report it's pretty much a boring reiteration of what we already know. Steroids are bad. I sat here for a good hour getting names (it's boring as fuck today, it's shitty out) and I came up with this list. I'll number them.

Bold guys are still playing (or were in Roger Clemens' case)

1. Manny Alexander
2. Juan Gonzalez
3. Benito Santiago
4. Armando Rios
5. Randy Velarde
6. Fernando Vina
7. Roger Clemens
8. Andy Pettite
9. Lenny Dykstra
10. Brian Roberts
11. Todd Hundley
12. Mark Carreon
13. Hal Morris
14. Rondelle White
15. Chuck Knoblauch
16. Gregg Zaun
17. David Justice
18. FP Santangelo
19. Glenallen Hill
20. Mo Vaugn
21. Denny Neagle
22. Ron Villone
23. Ryan Franklin
24. Todd Pratt
25. Kevin Young
26. Mike Lansing
27. Kent Merker
28. Mike Stanton
29. Jerry Hairston Jr.
30. Paul LoDuca
31. Kevin Brown
32. Erik Gagne
33. Mike Bell
34. Nook Logan
35. Rick Ankiel
36. David Bell
37. Troy Glaus
38. John Rocker
39. Scott Shoenweiss
40. Matt Williams

Two Words: Holy Fuck.

First of all I didn't add: Bonds, Sheffield, Tejada, Giambi, Jason Grimsley, etc.

This is going to cause some really big fallout; and to be shocked that Nook Logan took steroids, and Brian Roberts is on this list, and Troy Glaus. . . Holy shit.

This is the Mitchell Report!

Boy Dies after Being Run over by a Christmas Float...

This could only be more sad....if he was runover by a reindeer. Seriously, I can't help but laugh about this. It's sad, but it's more funny, because not only did he get run over once, he got run over TWICE.

Ch-Ch-Check it out!

Mitchell Report ...Part 1

Okay, so I just lost my previous post about the Mitchell Report...because my internet connection at work now sucks a fat black dick, however, Roger Clemens was named in the list apparently. As it stands, a personal trainer to both Clemens and fellow Yanks pitcher Andy Pettite, Brian McNamee had given Clemens steroids, and also told investigators that Clemens had gotten steroids from someone else as well.

SAY IT AIN'T SO.........No shit. Really? He's a fucking 100 years old! No kidding he's taking 'roids. He's been striking people out into his forties, giving people like Moyer and Glavine something to aspire too, when in reality he's getting some help from a cream, and a syringe.

This is only the first name to be dropped in the Mitchell Report, think about that....and wonder who-the-fuck-else could be named. Your favorite superstar could be named in said Report.
Yes, I am pronouncing the word Report like this "Re-pour" ala Stephen Colbear.
ESPN.com reports this actually.

The Jets will have a QB battle in '08

Well, it's not as if you didn't see it coming Jets fans. The Jets are going to have at 2008 QB Battle Royale! And for those of you who don't know what that means, it means this:

5. New York Jets

Kellen Clemens hasn't distinguished himself in his first opportunity to run with the starting job. At the moment, Clemens' competitor for the 2008 starting job is unknown. But the Jets face a tough decision on Chad Pennington; he is on the books for a $4.8 million salary and an escalator clause could take his salary to $6 million in 2008. Unhappy about his benching, Pennington probably will ask to be traded or released. That would leave the Jets in the market for a veteran to compete against Clemens. It could cost well over $3 million to bring in Grossman, Culpeppper or another veteran free agent, so the Jets have to decide whether they can do better than Pennington before they release him. Pennington lacks Clemens' arm strength, but he can move the chains and help a team get to the playoffs. If he sticks around, he could beat out Clemens.

ESPN has an article about QB Battles on their site, it's interesting actually.

Pennington is done, done, done. The Jets aren't going to pay him $4.8 million to do nothing, and they're sure as hell not going to give him $6 million in this fancy escalator clause (awesome by the way). It sucks though, because Chad gets a bum rap. It's not his fault the Jets suck (obviously). Kellen Clemens threw 2 picks against the Browns. . . AGAINST THE BROWNS! And come Sunday when the Jets get demolished by the Pats and sent down to the depths of hell for shits-and/or-giggles, we might just see Pennington again before the end of the season. Oh and the Raiders not to play Russell and the Browns not to play Quinn is fucking assanine considering they're each paying their respective guy...a gazillion-trillion dollars.

Giants sign Aaron Rowand.

This is insane, clearly insane. The San Francisco Giants who spent a boat-fucking-load of cash on former Oakland A's ace Barry Zito last year...drop a cool $60 million over five years to former White Sox/Phillies Center Fielder with a broken nose, Aaron Rowand. The deal was announced today. I didn't even know the Giants were in the market. All I want to see is Fred Lewis getting playing time.

O's trade Tejada to Houston for...a lot of guys.

Yeah, that's right. The Orioles as if they don't suck enough, traded away pretty much their big market guy for:

Luke Scott (OF)
Matt Albers (P)
Troy Patton (P)
Dennis Sarfate (P)
Michael Costanzo (3B)

It was a five to one deal. FIVE TO ONE! Holy fuck. Five guys, equal Miguel Tejada. Even if two of those guys represent steroid usage. What the figgity-fuck is wrong with you Houston!?

The Red Scare Part Deuce.

Yes, the Red Scare is back folks, in the form of a list written by George Mitchell. Well...it probably wasn't written by him, but the list was compiled by him...Well, it probably wasn't compiled by him either, but you get the point. George Mitchell (not to be confused with "Faith" singer George Michael, or CBS' Sports Machine anchor George Michael (2)) has a list, and upon this list it lies 50 names of baseball players, current, and not so much, who've used steroids.

There is going to be a press conference tomorrow followed by a separate conference by Bud Selig. Current players will face a less than or equal to version of the 50-game suspension players face now, because back in 2004 HGH and Steroids weren't exactly tested for...

Anywho...

On a related note, Marion Jones got stripped of 5 medals by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) Good riddance you dumb bitch. You've fucked up all Olympians in the eyes of the fans, because you're an ignorant cun- Whoa! Sorry. Wait a minute, I was getting a little carried away. I don't like using that word....a lot.
In regards to Marion Jones, it doth apply.

Mets have all the studs they need?

I don't know where MLB.com writers get their shit....but for the love of Christ you have to be stupid to say that Queensboro Armadillos have two studs in Oliver Perez and John Maine. I'm not going to go into this shit again, but everyone knows my stance on the Armadillos starting rotation and how "Hot & Cold" they are. This article sucks.

The Yanks ask.."Carl...could you skedaddle?"

Carl Pavano garnered a lot of interest in his free agent year back in 2005. I believe that the Red Sox wanted him as well as the Yankees. The Yankees wound up getting the Florida Marlin pitcher for the steep price of 4 years at $39.95 million dollars. Now, when the Yanks did this, they were under scrutiny, because they had thrown money at a guy who really didn't prove himself. . . a lot of money at that. Sure, Carl P went 18-8 with a 3.00 ERA in 2004, but what about 2003? He went 12-13 with a 4.30 ERA. It's not unlike the Yankees to make a mistake with a Free Agent (See: Jason Giambi), but this was a guy who just wasn't proven. Carl Pavano was hooooooooorrrible before 2004. In 2005, Pavano started 17 games and went 4-6 before getting injured and being out...until 2007! In 2007, Pavano started 2 (!!!!!) games, and went 1-0 with a 4.77 ERA, having given up 6 ER and 12 hits in 11.1 IP.

To get the point about my rant on Carl Pavano...the Yankees have asked Mr. Pavano to "get the fuck out!" They're on the verge of offering Pavano a minor league deal...and they're having a conversation about it. . . . !!!!!!!!!!!!! This is another "WHAT THE FUCK?!?" moment. Why can't the Yankees just release him? The amount of money you'll lose is clearly worth it. Carl Pavano is fucking dead weight and has been since you've signed him. He's pitched in 19 games in 3 years! And he was out all of 2006.

This is obviously a no-brainer.

Petrino out as Falcons head coach.

Not that the Falcons need anymore reasons to lose, but here's another:

Bobby Petrino quit as Head Coach.

Ha. I get it. Petrino is a prick anyway. He's the worst coach in all of football easily, because of his inability to act like a human. He's got no communication skills and this is why the Falcons suck. I don't know about that. He might be awful, but without Mike Vick leading that Offense ...the Falcons need a savior.

Also, just to throw in here.

Keyshawn Johnson said this last night; that Mike Vick if he came back to the NFL he wouldn't be a QB, but he'd be a RB, or a WR. WHAT THE FUCK!?!

UPDATE!!!: Keyshawn Johnson is still a moron! Bobby Petrino is the new Head Coach of the Arkansas Wild Boarhogs (or whatever the eff they're called)

Jumper trailer for your enjoyment

Check it out, starring the dude who played Anakin Skywalker, Jamie Bell, Rachel Bilson, and Samuel L Jackson.

First official Indiana Jones Artwork...poster...thing.

Yes. I just woke up. It's 2:25pm, my eyes haven't adjusted to the light, and I'm starved. However, for your viewing pleasure we have this. This shit got me excited. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Sounds fucking good.

Tom Brady is such an....

Asshole. I really like doing these types of posts, haha, I'm an asshole too, but I'm not a Quartback who has 45 TDs, and 6 INTs. Jesus Fuck.

Eli Manning...

Has the worst Play Action in all of football.

It's like he's handing it off to no one (which I guess he is) but either Jacobs can't run a PA route or Eli is scared to fucking death that he's going to get pummeled.

It's against my religion...

(my football religion that is..), but I think I'm rooting for the Patriots today against the Steelers. My undying hatred for the Steelers makes me do crazy things. Also, I think the Jets are going to beat the Pats in week 15.

Yeah, boy-ee.

This is the kind of stuff Dilbert is great for.

All Hail Tim 'Heisman' Tebow; Blacks keeping the Irish down...

Something you probably saw coming was Tim Tebow of the Florida Gators winning the Heisman Trophy. Why is this so important? Because he's the first Sophomore to ever do so. Tebow, in his defense, is having a fantastic year. 29 passing TDs, 6 picks, 22 rushing TDs. So, for those folks at home, that's 51 fucking TDs combined. Not only that, he passed for 3100+ yards and rushed for 838 yards. The guy is a machine; and a ball hog. Apparently Tim Tebow is Superman, because he played a High School game with a broken leg, and played this year with a broken hand. I don't know if I'd call him Superman, or Super-retarded-man. Who does this guy think he is? Brett Favre!? And poor Darren McFadden, the only person to be a runner up two years in a row. Darren McFadden is now plotting ways to make his debut as a Defensive Back and kill Tim Tebow.

Whatever, honestly, I'm a San Diego Toreros fan. Go Josh Johnson! Johnson has thrown for 43 TDs and has only one pick! ONE! Holy Christ. Those are Tom Brady-like numbers. I don't know, maybe I'm missing something, but he's been sacked only 11 times in 10 games, and has thrown for almost 3000 yards. Maybe he's not allowed to win the Heisman Trophy. Hmm. Plus he had 2 rushing TDs.

And Floyd Mayweather, the blackest person ever, has defeated the whitest Irish guy ever Ricky Hatton. I figured this was going to happen. I honestly forgot it was even on. I'll have to get a copy of it, and watch it. Mayweather TKO's Hatton's mick-butt in the 10th Round. Therefore, Hatton really did bust his balls in the fight. Oh well. Oh and David Beckham was there, how awesome is that. Becks decided that instead of playing Soccer...(is the Soccer season over? I don't know! Soccer sucks ass) he was going to watch a boxing match. I wish I had that kind of leeway. Honestly.

Heroin Starching is the coolest thing since sliced bread...

This comes from "The Orion" which is a newspaper or ...something. Regardless, Heroin Starching...it's all the rave.


Man hides heroin in pants
A man arriving in Florida was stopped by customs for starching his pants and shirt with heroin.
According to the San Francisco Chronicle, Alejandro Mejia Garcia was arrested for smuggling the heroin into the United States. He said the heroin was given to him by Colombian drug smugglers after they promised him $12,500 to carry the drugs.
A method known as "heroin starching" involves soaking clothing in heroin and is regaining popularity in Miami and New York City.
Customs officials noticed that Mejia's clothing was unusually stiff, smelled of vinegar and was leaving a trail of white powder.
Drug agents arrested Mejia and three other men for the smuggling, and if there is found to be more than 2.2 pounds of heroin in his clothes, he may face life in prison.

30 days of awesome...day two-hundred-thirty-five

Yes, I decided it was my turn to chime in about something that was awesome this year, since Jewish declared this was his idea, but hasn't done it.

Buffalo Bill's Tight End Kevin Everett got paralyzed this year in a football game playing against the Denver Broncos while he was making a tackle. He arrived at a Buffalo hospital and was paralyzed from the waist down...and spend three days on life support. And now he's walking on his own and doing rehab.

Now that is awesome.

Andruw Jones signs with the Dodgers

Andruw Jones former Atlanta Brave signed with the Dodgers today, a 2-year deal worth somewhere around $37-million dollars.

Adam Brody is ...

The Flash, but apparently not in his own movie, but in the upcoming Justice League of America flick. I found that out here.

It goes to say that Brody was awesome in In the Land of Women which he was. He's got a solid dramedy about him. A guy who is seemingly always down on his luck. I did like his stuff on The O.C. so there. He'll apparently reprise the role for two spinoff flicks as Wally West/The Flash.

I want John Wesley Shipp back in a cameo God Damn it.

Pineapple Express clip...

Yes, I'm a blogging whore today. But I keep finding good shit. So here you go with a Pineapple Express clip. The movie has Seth Rogen, who'll star in Kevin Smith's Zack and Miri Make a Porno and James Franco who played Harry Osborn in all of the Spider-Man flicks. Check it out...!

Dark Knight poster?

AICN posted this up on their site claiming it's an official The Dark Knight poster. If it is, I just cried a little.

Credit seriously goes to AICN for this...hopefully I don't get sued. If WB wants it down, I will gladly take it down within minutes.

Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian trailer.

Yes! It's about fucking time! I honestly loved the first movie (and book). I thought it was a great story, with a great ending, and this one looks just as good. Click the pick for the trailer.

Blue is not a flavor.

I was cruising the net in the hopes for something to occupy my snow-ridden time, when I came across this site. ZeroToys, they have this Sports Drink Mixer so I take a look at it, and the flavors which consist of: Raspberry, Blue, Teal, and Purple. I don't know about you, but I don't want to drink anything called Teal. It'd be like drinking the side of a Florida Townhouse back in 1990. No? Uh..how about any type of Indian Decoration from the last ten years? They use teal like it's going out of style. No? Well Fuck the Heck.

I don't want to drink colors! I want to drink flavors! So I came up with some flavors to replace the blue, purple and teal.

Blue will now be called "Bloody Blue Monday."
Purple will be called "Purple Haze for Purple Gaze"
Teal will be called "Holy fuck, it's Teal."

I think they'll sell like hotcakes, which apparently sell like crazy.

The Mets have lack of depth...

I TOLD YOU! HAHA! I've been saying this for years. You can sign all the old fucks you want to sign, but when it comes down to it, you have no one to bargain with. Apparently Billy Wagner is smoking the strong stuff because he talks about Aaron Heilman like he's the second coming of Christ. The Mets apparently made a pitch for Orioles Ace Erik Bedard only to be shot down. The deal? Aaron Heilman, Carlos Gomez and Philip Humber. They're reluctant to trade Mike Pelfrey and Kevin Mulvey. Okay, fine. I don't know about you but I think having Philip Humber on your team is a much better thing that having Mike Pelfrey. Mike Pelfrey is the second coming (yes, there's that phrase again) of Anthony Young. Go ahead, look at his wikipedia. Anthony Young lost 27 straight games in which he had a decision. 27! He was a Met and he was awful. He's my favorite Met of all time and you know why? Because he sucked! The Mets shouldn't be good. They're named for the Metropolitans (or something) and with a name like that, they should never win a World Series again. Unless of course we change their name to the Queensboro Armadillo's (it has a ring to it, no?) and change their uniform color to, instead of orange and blue, to maroon and puke green.

Bottom line folks, is that the Mets are trying to make a push for a starting pitcher. And they've got no leverage to do this with. They're starting at the top, and they're going to come away with nothing in the long run. My thought? Erik Milton is a free agent, sign him to a minor league deal with an invite to Spring training, also, you've got Josh Fogg who is a free agent...and was just in the World Series! Carlos Silva too! Jesus Christ, who would think that the Mets would immediately go after guys like Dan Haren and Erik Bedard when they could just throw money at these guys.

What you really need to think about is who's going to pull up the tail end of this shitty rotation you're building around a (maybe he's healthy/maybe not) Pedro Martinez. You've got John Maine who was so hot some games that you thought CY Young and so cold the next that you though Anthony Young (sorry, it just fit so well). And the 40-year-old phenom Orlando Hernandez "El Duque" should just be called El Douche. Him and his stupid windup. And Oliver Perez, I forgot about my least favorite Met of all time. Oliver Perez is so overrated it makes me look like a Pulitzer Prize winner. Everyone praises him as a 15-game winner. Which I guess he is...but take into account the ten games he lost! He's reliable to win you 15 games, but uh...what about the 10 he guarantees go the way side? So, how many Starters is that Maine (1), El Douche (2), Perez (3), and Pedro (4). So, if you're happy with that starting rotation without a fifth then you're not only someone who's been stricken with Down syndrome, but you're a God damned moron.

You can't be happy with a rotation like that. I'd cringe at the thought of having El Douche follow Maine, or Maine follow Perez. Don't forget, that you've got Jorge Sosa, Mike Pelfrey, and Phil Humber...who all did well for you in 2007...right?

And don't get me wrong, I'm a Braves fan and I know we have pitching staff problems, but the Braves deal with those problems in house (mostly save for Tom Glavine...we all knew that was coming) by calling up guys like Jo Jo Reyes, and Jeff Bennett and leaving a guy like Chuck James in the rotation despite him not being very good. I'm hoping for an outstanding baseball season, but the way things are going...with the A's pretty much willing to give away people...I'm starting to worry.

UGO has seen the first 6 minutes of...

The Dark Knight...and from the sound of it...it's going to be really fucking good. I almost can't wait to see Ledger playing the Joker. After seeing all of the pictures and marketing they've done. Here's the link; look at your leisure.

Bo Still Knows

No, I'm not talking about Bo Pelini new coach of the . I'm talking about a new article about Vicent Edward Bo Jackson my longtime favorite overall athlete. It's a fantastic read over at ESPN so I suggest you get your "little ass" over there and read it.

30 Days Of Awesome...Day One

Well, you see, JD and I usually do our Top 10 lists for the end of the year in both movies and music. I decided to expand it a bit, and just make it 30 days of awesome things...not just movies and awesome. For the next 30 days, I will talk about something awesome that happened in the year 2007, and by anything I mean, music, dvds, film, news stories ANYTHING.

Day 1:

On January 31, the town of Boston had what they thought a possible terrorist attack. Here's the full story....courtesy of my favorite website...Wikipedia:

On January 31st, 2007, at 8:05 a.m. a passenger spotted the device on a stanchion that supports an elevated section of Interstate 93 (I-93), above Sullivan Station and told a policeman with the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority. ^[9] At 9 a.m., the Boston Police Bomb squad received a phone call from the MBTA requesting assistance in identifying the device.^[10] Authorities responded with what the Boston Globe described as "[an] army of emergency vehicles" at the scene, including police cruisers, fire trucks, ambulances, and the Boston Police Department bomb squad. Also present were live TV crews with helicopters circling overhead and a large crowd of onlookers. ^[9] Peter Berdovsky, who had placed the device, went to the scene and video recorded the situation. Berdovsky recognized the device the police were dealing with but made no attempt to inform the police at the scene of what he knew about it. Berdovsky returned to his apartment and contacted the company Interference who had hired him to place the lights. He was told by Interference that they would handle informing the police and that he should personally say nothing about the situation.^[11]

During the preliminary investigation at the site, the police found that the device shared some characteristics with improvised explosive devices, except the actual explosive. These characteristics included an identifiable power source, circuit board with exposed wiring, and electrical tape. After the initial assessment, the Boston police shut down the northbound side of I-93 and parts of the public transportation system. Just after 10 a.m. the bomb squad used a small explosive filled with water to destroy it as a precaution. MBTA Transit police Lieutenant Salvatore Venturelli told the media at the scene, "This is a perfect example of our passengers taking part in Homeland Security." He refused to describe the object in detail because of the ongoing investigation responding that "It's not consistent with equipment that would be there normally," Investigators were trying to determine "if it was a hoax or something else entirely" according to Venturelli. ^[9][12] Northbound I-93 reopened to traffic at about 10:05 a.m. By 10:21 a.m. it was determined to be "some sort of hoax device" according to a police timeline of the events.^[10]

At 12:54 p.m., Boston police received a call identifying a similar device located at the intersection of Stuart and Charles Street.^[10] At 1:11 p.m. the Massachusetts State Police requested assistance from the bomb squad with devices found under the Longfellow and Boston University bridges.^[10] Both bridges were closed as a precaution and the Coast Guard closed the river itself to boat traffic.^[13][14]

The first media reports that the event was a hoax occurred around 1 p.m.^{[citation needed]} Friends of Peter Berdovsky received an e-mail from him at 1:26 p.m. which alleged that five hours into the scare, an Interference Inc. (the marketing firm that created the campaign) executive requested Berdovsky "keep everything on the dl".^[2] Travis Vautour, friend of Berdovsky, stated: "We received an e-mail in the early afternoon from Peter that asked the community that he's a part of to keep any information we had on the down low and that was instructed to him by whoever his boss was."^[15]

Two hours later, Interference notified their client, Cartoon Network.^[2] Between 2 and 3 p.m., a police analyst identified the image on the devices as an ATHF cartoon character, and the police concluded the incident was a publicity stunt.^[1] Turner Broadcasting System issued a statement concerning the event at around 4:30 p.m.^[1] Portions of the Turner statement read: "We regret that they were mistakenly thought to pose any danger. The packages in question are magnetic lights that pose no danger. They are part of an outdoor marketing campaign in 10 cities in support of Adult Swim's animated television show Aqua Teen Hunger Force."^[16]

"They have been in place for two to three weeks in Boston, New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Austin, San Francisco, and Philadelphia. Parent company Turner Broadcasting is in contact with local and federal law enforcement on the exact locations of the billboards. We regret that they were mistakenly thought to pose any danger." Some devices had been up in the cities listed for two weeks before the Boston incident occurred, although no permits were ever secured for the devices' installation.^[16]

The marketing company responsible for the campaign, Interference, Inc., has made no comment on the situation and their website has also been down (restored as of 2007-02-03).^[17] Berdovsky and Stevens, the individuals hired by Interference to install the signs, were arrested by Boston police during the evening of January 31, and charged with violating Chapter 266: Section 102A½ of The General Laws of Massachusetts, which makes it a crime to place a "hoax device" with the intent to panic the public.^[6][18] Both were held at the State Police South Boston barracks overnight and were released on $2,500 bail from the Charlestown District Court the following morning.

Think about this..From when the first "bomb" was spotted it took approximately 6 to 7 hours for someone to identify that there was a Mooninite on the bomb and not only that, but it took a "Police Analyst" to discover that? Hey guys, this was a big black box with some D batteries and a circuit board to light some LED lights and it took 6 hours to find that this was a hoax? Give me a fucking break...idiots.


Why is this awesome?

Well it just proves to me that the amount of fear that we are all going to get blown up is just ridiculous. A month later the idiots in Boston detonated what they thought to be another potential bomb, later learning it was just a traffic counter. You're more likely to die in a car accident or because you don't have health insurance. Let's worry a little bit more about that than another terrorist strike.