Overheard at Gamestop today....

Kid walks in today, and the following conversation exchange takes place:

Kid: Do you have anything I can stick my Wii into?
Me: That is a dirty question and I refuse to answer it.

ATTENTION, ATTENTION!

The following things are awesome:

1) Roger Clemens and his inability to pitch for the Yankees.
2) The new flavor of Full Throttle, Blue Demon.
3) The new Rooney album. It really is worth a second mentioning. Make sure you pick it up when it releases on July 17th.

That is all.

ATTENTION!

Something that is awesome:

1. Rooney's new album "Calling the World."

Yes. Carry on.

Video for Motion City Soundtrack's "Broken Heart"

Chris Benoit and family found dead. EDIT times 3

Holy fucking Shit. I am in utter shock. I can't believe that Chris Benoit is dead, and that his entire family is dead as well. They were found dead this morning. For those of you who don't know - Chris Benoit was a professional wrestler for WCW/WWE..a multi-champion and just an all-round great entertainer. It sucks that he (and his family) have died. I stopped watching wrestling over a year ago, but even so, I enjoyed his matches. Especially anything he and Lance Storm did together. Once again, Chris Benoit dead at the age of 40.

Also, they're saying that the instruments of the murder were found at the scene, and it could be a "possible murder suicide." And the day before Benoit actually cancelled an appearance to spar with fellow wrestler CM Punk before an event. Now he's fucking dead. What the hell?


[EDIT: Okay, well after all the news and shit has poured in...they're saying the Chris Benoit killed his wife and son over the weekend, and then himself yesterday (Monday). There were no gunshot or stab wounds, and ...no one really knows what happened yet. Jesus, I feel stupid. I did like Benoit, but apparently the cat is a murderer. It's a crazy fucking world.]
[EDIT 2: Okay, so Benoit strangled his wife to death, and then smothered his son to death, then he went ahead and hung himself in his weight room. And it's all being linked to Steroids. Man.]
[EDIT 3: WWE.com has posted text messages from Benoit to WWE wrestlers/friends. Mainly just his address over and over (can't send a card there now...can I?) and one to Chavo Guerrero telling him to let his dogs out. Regardless, this is a very sad sad story; immediately linked to roid rage. I really think Steroids get a bum rap.]

Oh yeah, Rod Beck Died.

Rod Beck died today, I forgot to post that in my rant about the All Star game. I'm saddened by this, because Rod Beck was awesome. He was a fat, overweight, handle bar mustache wearing guy, but he was fucking awesome. He didn't throw the ball very hard, and he wasn't very good at baseball, but he got the job done. Him and that handle bar mustache will be sincerely missed here at Marc and JD's Blog of Awesomeness.

Beck pitched for a lot of teams, The Giants, the Cubs, Red Sox, and Padres. He had a win-loss record of 38-45, 286 saves, and a 3.30 lifetime ERA (not as bad as it looks), and he was a three time all-star. All this means is that the fans liked him. I found it to be pertinent to my particular situation of hating the All Star Game. However, Rod Beck was actually good those years.

Thank you, and sorry for the quick post.

Why JD doesn't watch the MLB All Star Game...Part II

I was just checking over the updated ballot for the Major League Baseball All-Star game. Much to my chagrin, the Mets aren't doing so well. Sure their infield will pretty much field the NL side of the game, but that's too be expected. Stupid New York Met fans with nothing better to do just simultaneously click their mouses over and over (for the max 25 votes) and then they make up e-mail addresses and do it again. One thing that makes me so happy I could cry is the fact that Russ Martin of the Dodgers is edging Paul LoDuca out of the NL Catcher Spot.

For those of you who don't know, or haven't realized, I hate fucking Paul LoDuca. I hate him. I really do. Moreso than I hate David Wright, or Tom Herr. I don't know why, honestly, I just fucking do.

Anyway, Prince Fielder is going to edge out Albert Pujols for the NL 1st Baseman Starting spot. As well he fucking should, the guy has been hammering the holy bejesus out of the ball. He's hitting .283, with 26 Long balls, and 61 rbis. Pujols (whom I think is awesome, don't get me wrong) is batting .303 with 16 long balls and 47 rbis. Pujols' OBP is better, it's just that he hasn't displayed the type of power that Fielder has yet. Granted, Fielder is on a much better team and Pujols is on a sinking ship with a bird-emblem. Fielder is a good choice.

Chase Utley is another surprise for JD, because I have always called the All Star game a popularity contest (it is), but Utley is actually deserving of the 2B spot on the NL side. Kelly Johnson maybe have 8 HRs, but I mean the guy is as inconsistant as ever. Utley's batting .322 to Johnson's .274, Utley has 30 doubles, to Johnson's 13. Although, take into consideration that Utley isn't leading off.

3rd Base is going to fucking bewilder me. I know that Chipper Jones was hurt and all that. And that David Wright was in a slump, but considering the fact that he's still batting - fuck it...look:

Jones' stats: .320 Avg, .408 OBP, 13 HR, 28 RBI, 38 runs!, 15 doubles, 1 3b.
Wright's stats: .289 Avg, .373 OBP, 12 HR, 40 RBI, 41 runs, 18 doubles, 1 3b.

You've got to be fucking kidding me. This jaggoff is leading the All Star rankings? And by jaggoff I mean David Wright. Come-the fuck-on here. It aggravates me to no-end to see this. And to think that David Wright has played 20 more games! I mean, Chipper Jones has scored 38 runs! Thirty-Eight runs, for those of you who can't read numbers, in 51 games with a team that had a cleanup hitter that was hitting below .200! I means that in 51 games, Chipper Jones hits the fucking ball! Isn't that what a hitter batting third is supposed to do ...consistently? I know this is going to piss off Marc, but I'm so fucking peeved by this shit I'm thinking of sending a letter to Omar Minaya explaining why (and how much) I hate him.

Jesus. Lest we forget that Miguel Cabrera deserves the reigns more than both of them (granted Chip was hurt for 20 games) Cabrera who has played 71 games has a .327 Avg, .395 OBP, 16 HR, 53 RBIs, 45 runs, 20 doubles, 2 3b.

I'm fucking flabbergasted. I really don't understand the All Star game, isn't he point to get the best player out there and not some fucking hack that the fans voted for. I mean, Jesus-Fucking-Christ, what's the point? If the best man for the job isn't out there hitting, fielding, and eating sunflower seeds..then what, my friends, is the point of all this?

Why Marc doesn't watch the All-Star Game

Because it's retarded.

Why JD doesn't watch the MLB Allstar Game...

Magglio Ordonez batting 380+ on the Year with 34 Doubles, 13 HRs, 68 RBIs, and a 471 AVG with RISP ...Is 4th on the All Star Ballot. Fuck you baseball fans, for being inept at picking an allstar game. Fuck you for picking for popularity. You suck. It's your fault that I haven't watched an All Star game in Five years. You fucking posers.

Oh yeah, this is why David Wright is on the All Star team, because of fucking Met fans.

Hate

I hate people who wear socks and sandals. Hey, assholes...you're halfway there, just put on your fucking shoes.

Gotta love MST3K

Anyway, this is out of the ordinary, but considering mine, and Marc's love for Mystery Science Theater 3000, I decided to go with it. Mike Nelson, Host/Writer for said show has an interview over at Buzzgrinder which is a pretty happening site. Anyway the link is here read it at your leisure. Nelson says that Battlefield Earth is one flick he'd like to tackle, and I think, personally, that it'd be hilarious.

Also, later on (or whenever I get around to it) I'll recap my trip to the Baseball Hall of Fame (with pictures!).

Read on!

Unexpected Visitors

You know, I've come to realize that I am definitely not a fan of unexpected visitors. I like some advance warning. Don't just pop in randomly, and say, "Hey, what's up Marc?". Chances are my response will be"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT DO YOU WANT" in as annoyed sounding voice as possible. Needless to say, it must not be annoying enough, because most of the time they still don't leave.

Maybe I'm doing it wrong?

I mean, I know there worse unexpected visitors. For example, when your regularly scheduled visitor DOESN'T show...and you end up with a baby? Talk about unexpected. You don't even realize for at least a month or so.

A Touch of Paris.

Hello everyone, and welcome to the only blog I will ever write about Paris Hilton. Personally, I think Paris Hilton is a pretty hot, mentally retarded person. Her eyes are crooked, and her voice beats nails on a chalk board. IMDB.com recently updated their news board, and there was an article about Paris Hilton responding to Fan Letters. The bitch has 23-hours a day to think about what she's done, and what's actually going on is she's getting praising letters from morons. I don't know, but if you want to write her a letter, you write to:

Inmate name and Booking Number
11705 S. Alameda St.
Lynwood, Ca. 90262

The name of the detention center (fancy name for jail) is Century Regional Detention Center, but I'm pretty sure you don't need that. I'm sure, though, that you could find her booking number online somewhere. Anyway, I've never really talked about Paris Hilton, mainly because I find her to be incredibly stupid. She may be hot, and the shit she's doing all in good "fun," but didn't she fuck Shannen Doherty's ex-husband on camera? Didn't she just release a bomb-album? I mean, for fucks-sake, money will let people do (and get away with) whatever the fuck they want. If I had money, I'd fly myself to a remote island (where there's internet access and a comic book store) and live out the rest of my days drinking mohitos and getting sand in my crotch. I'm honestly sick of hearing about the nonsensical bullshit that comes out of Lindsay Lohan/Paris Hilton's mouth. Their mouth's are gaping holes to filled with one thing only: a fat canoli. . .

This is why I respected the Osbourne kid who wanted nothing to with the TV show, and wanted them to blur out her face on TV. If I was a movie/musician/rich person's son I'd be somewhere where no one could find me.

Exhaustion

Man, I am exhausted, although, I want to say this: Don't ever say and unkind word about Mr. Smith. He's just a popular dude with a lot of creepy fans. I don't know, when I met the guy I had to wait in line for hours. Literally from light to dark. It wasn't fun, but it was well fucking worth it. I do appreciate that Marc got me a signed copy of Fight Club possibly one of my favorite books of all time. Palahniuk is a weird cat, but apparently cool as shit.

I was going to talk about my upcoming vacation, but that's not what this blog is for. What it is for is, bullshit.

MLB 2007 The Show: A Review.

For those of you who actually know me, will know that I rarely play baseball games. What I do play is sports games (Madden and of course MVP Baseball 2005) and I love baseball. Therefore, I have grown attached (to my brother's copy of) MLB The Show. It's got it's flaws, don't get me wrong, but over all it's a realistic game. Everytime you throw an out to first base, the the first basement proceeds to throw it to the shortstop, who misses the ball and it goes into left field. The graphics aren't the best I've ever seen, but they'll do. The actually baseball-game play is so much like a real game it's incredible. MVP Baseball 2005, which I've played 4 full 162 game seasons of, didn't have that realistic throwing/catching, it's controls were easier and graphics were slightly better, but it was made by EA Sports so what did you expect? I do like MLB The Show 2007, I enjoy the game, I enjoy the music - and I'll play it until I get Madden 2008 starring Vince Young as the guy who gets hurt in the first week of the season.

Come on, you know it's gonna happen.

My Adventures in the City(New York City....)

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ATTENTION, ATTENTION

The following things are awesome:

1) The new White Stripes album.
2) The new Straylight Run album.

That is all.

I'm fucking sorry.

Honestly, I thought that last blog would be it for the night. I truly did. However. This photograph I just found on Yahoo! is some of the most fucked up shit I've seen in a long time. It has Frank Thomas of the Blue Jays, and Barry Bonds in it. Eff'd up.

"Hey Barry, could you move your hand...you're creepin' me out"

PTA's There Will Be Bore

Fuck, I can't help the fact that I'm posting randomly. Paul Thomas Anderson sent a link to a trailer for his new flick There Will Be Blood. More like There Will Be Bore. I yawned halfway through it, I don't know, something about the trailer is boring. Maybe it was the YouTube-quality video, who knows. I just personally think it looks like ass. Also Showtime's newest effort Meadowlands is the worst new show I've seen in a very, very long time. I like drama as much as the next guy, but this is almost as bad as the There Will Be Blood trailer which you can see here.

Also you can watch the first episode of Flight of the Conchords here

Yeah, that's it.

Yes, I'm a blog whore.

I couldn't resist posting this. It's the video for the 'The Flight of the Conchords' "Beautiful Girls. It's hilarious, and it stars the chick who played the main character in "Clueless" Rachel Blanchard. Nice.

Spinners Top 10 Things Not to do at a Concert

Yes, so Spinner.com, a pretty decent site has posted a "Top Ten Things Never to Do at a Concert" I found it to be pretty fucking funny, so therefore it's getting posted here. If you've never been to a concert shame on you.

Number 10: Tall Dudes, pick a spot and stay there.
Number 9: We Get it, you're a fan, you don't need to wear the frickin' T-Shirt.
Number 8: Your tongue belongs in your own mouth.
Number 7: Your date must keep one foot on the ground (no on the shoulders bullshit).
Number 6: Friends don't call friends.
Number 5: The Band doesn't want your cheap crap.
Number 4: Leave your (beach) balls at home.
Number 3: If you must yell out a request, make sure the band hasn't already played it.
Number 2: BTW, you're not actually in the band.
Number 1: When the show's over, go home.

Now if you want to actually see these for yourself, because they'd make more sense and I am way too fucking lazy to type anything out here - than you can go here.

There are some funny videos and shit that go along with the Number's, but I am not posting them here. Do something for yourself! God!

Heroin tastes like candy.

It's awesome, that every once in a while some kid (no matter the age) does something so ridiculous it permits news to cover it.

This story is no exception.

A child of five years old brought heroin to school - and got about five kids sick. They ate it because they thought it was candy, awesome rock looking-bread crumb smelling candy.

Where did the kid get the H from, his mother apparently works at the YMCA, the Heroin was chopped up and looked like M&M's they had Smiley faces on them. Fucking crazy. Kids love H. This is in bad taste maybe, but still kind of funny.

That's it, good-bye.

No kids for you.

Matt Porter, a Sixth Grader, from Indiana had the greatest award bestowed upon him. The award was given to him by his teachers, and was the "Most Likely Never to have Kids Award." I think that it's pretty legit. Maybe the kid is a skeeve or something. Maybe he's awkward and shy, and one of his teachers legitimately thought he was never going to have kids. I don't know, it's a little wrong if you ask me. The poor bastard's parents want answers, and they're not getting any.

I was pretty mature when I was in sixth grade, so I can take a thrashing at the hands of a teacher. Nothing terrible, but there was jokes made at mine and other's expense. If my sixth-great teacher told me that I wasn't going to have kids I probably would've told him (Mr. Colotti) to go Eff Himself in the A.

Here's the story.

A Mighty Fart

Wow, going to hell for that one, does anyone think that the Daniel Pearl-based flick A Mighty Heart is in bad taste? Even if it is narrated by his wife, and starring hot-mom Angelina Jolie? I believe that it is, because the video of him getting his - you know - was pretty f'n gruesome, and who really wants to relive that. Anyway, I sent Rich Hill (awesome pitcher for the Cubbies) a baseball card, and he sent it back signed. I rock.

ATTENTION ATTENTION:

Here's a list of things to avoid:

1) The new Linkin Park album.
2) The new Chris Cornell album.

That is all.

Idiots are Ruining America

So, ok. I don't have a problem with actual people that have mental or physical deformities. Don't get me wrong, I'm not that much of a prick. They just can't help it. Ok, that being said. I go to the stationary store the other day to cash in a lotto ticket. In the car next to me is a Spanish woman and her Spanish daughter, who must be in the 12-15 age range, who I later found out suffers from Down's Syndrome. Not cool. I don't have a problem with that, like I said...shit happens. But herein lies the problem. I get out to cash my winning lotto ticket (4 bucks!) and as I get out they get out too. They go in and as I'm trying to go in, this girl likes grabs the fucking door and it appears to be not letting me in. Weird, but whatever, I brush it off. I manage to pry the door open, and I'm standing there, looking at what I want to get with my amazing 4 bucks, and this girl comes over to me and starts GRABBING MY FUCKING WINNING LOTTO TICKET. Meanwhile, I'm like...what the fuck is going on. Hello, Spanish woman, where are you. She's too busy fucking cashing in fucking cheap ass ticket, and getting other. She finally notices that this girl is like grabbing for my ticket, and says "That's not ok" to which the daughter responds "Its ok, Its ok." Meanwhile I'm standing there like, please, for the love of god let me get my lottery tickets and get the fuck out of this place. So they leave to go to their piece of shit minivan, and I cash in my ticket and get some more and proceed to leave. The whole time I'm walking into my car, this girl is giving me the stare from hell and I'm thinking to myself, what better morals to instill in your disabled child than, "Hey, let's waste all of our money on lottery tickets!"

Hey, Spanish woman. I got news for you. Just die. She'd be better off in a group home. Some people just do not deserve

And that's not even the worse part of this story. My lottery tickets were both losers.

The one with the annoying Reciever/DVD combo.

So today, my brother decides that it's a good idea to buy a surround sound system for the basement. A $250 dollar surround system by a company called DENON, which is actually fairly popular and usually very expensive. Anyway, Dan-O purchased said system without the directions, a box, a remote or anything. He just took it and put it in his car. Seriously. There was no fucking remote, no fucking box, no fucking directions. The shit has more holes in it than a whore on NYC's strip, it's outrageously complicated, and I can't figure out it. Fucking DENON.

The Firstest!

Testing, Testing, one, two, three! Yes, okay, maybe. I hate Jose Reyes and Tommy Herr. If you don't know who Tommy Herr is, maybe you should do so researchism. Damn you.