Things that happened to me on the way to work...

First of all, I am fucking beyond hung over and working. I shouldn't be working, but my boss fired the girl I work with, so I have too. Ultimately it doesn't bother me, but I could've used 3 or 12 more hours of sleep today. This mornings drive to work was especially fucked up and weird. Firstly:

1. There was no old people on the road. Only a blonde hottie with a face like an angel and (I'm guessing) breasts that are like cantaloupes from heaven. She was driving faster than I was and that leads into part two of the drive to work;

2. A fucking black SUV that had to have been a Statey or at least a Cop, comes barrelling down the road, lights flashing - so I'm definitely thinking the worst. This girl in front of me slows down and I slow down and figure I'm getting pulled over for speeding, and pull off to the right. And he speeds past me doing about 90 mph, and I sit there in awe for a moment. Then pull back onto the road and start driving. Now, the funniest thing about this episode was that I wasn't like nervous. When I was first starting out driving, my heart dropped into my stomach and I was nervous, but this time around was the three C's: Calm, Cool, and Collected. This didn't lead to part three, but still, it's kind of hilarious.

3. I'm sitting at a light, waiting with my windows open in 23 degree weather (I happen to prefer the cold, plus if you're freezing your ass off, it takes your mind off the hangover), and I look in my rear view mirror and see a guy, in a read Madza (or something like it) dressed as Santa Claus. I kind of just stare for a minute wondering what the fuck was going on, but I didn't get out of the car and hit him, I just continued driving.