Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Things that happened to me on the way to work...

First of all, I am fucking beyond hung over and working. I shouldn't be working, but my boss fired the girl I work with, so I have too. Ultimately it doesn't bother me, but I could've used 3 or 12 more hours of sleep today. This mornings drive to work was especially fucked up and weird. Firstly:

1. There was no old people on the road. Only a blonde hottie with a face like an angel and (I'm guessing) breasts that are like cantaloupes from heaven. She was driving faster than I was and that leads into part two of the drive to work;

2. A fucking black SUV that had to have been a Statey or at least a Cop, comes barrelling down the road, lights flashing - so I'm definitely thinking the worst. This girl in front of me slows down and I slow down and figure I'm getting pulled over for speeding, and pull off to the right. And he speeds past me doing about 90 mph, and I sit there in awe for a moment. Then pull back onto the road and start driving. Now, the funniest thing about this episode was that I wasn't like nervous. When I was first starting out driving, my heart dropped into my stomach and I was nervous, but this time around was the three C's: Calm, Cool, and Collected. This didn't lead to part three, but still, it's kind of hilarious.

3. I'm sitting at a light, waiting with my windows open in 23 degree weather (I happen to prefer the cold, plus if you're freezing your ass off, it takes your mind off the hangover), and I look in my rear view mirror and see a guy, in a read Madza (or something like it) dressed as Santa Claus. I kind of just stare for a minute wondering what the fuck was going on, but I didn't get out of the car and hit him, I just continued driving.  

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Holy Shit...

Okay, so about six or seven years ago I wrote a short story about a serial killer who kills his psychiatrist, using knives and what not. It's initially the beginning to the longest fucking short story in the history of man. It's spanned nearly a decade of a guy who's father (the psychiatrist) gets killed and he is left with an inheritance all while attending the New York University and fucking any chick with a pulse. It's been going on for the three years I went to Nassau and Farmingdale for a semester and then here. It's been going on for a long time, this story...and now it's a reality.

Apparently some dude weilding a meat cleaver went into a psychiatrists office and lit her up like a Thanksgiving Turkey. And stole about $60. I don't know if it's really worth it. He's been caught, as far as I know.